Learning to love life by
living through loss and mistakes, lessons learned, then gradually surfacing,
letting go, stripping naked to scream. He is not perfect, nor does he strive to
be. He is alive in this world of the face-first falls and public breakdowns.
He’s a retarded, disfigured clown dying to be heard for the simple art of
letting this heavy wall finally fall… Welcome to the world of
Justin Furstenfeld, of which he is allowing a glimpse through his words and
music.
Depression had already
entered Justin’s life, when Blue October started out. With music being his only
way to express his emotions, Justin and his fellow band members made the album
“The answers”, which they financed themselves. Justin described the pain
that choked his reality, and the album sold 5000 copies in Houston alone.
Blue October eventually signed a deal with Universal, and their debut was
re-recorded improving the sound and re-released.
Universal dropped the band
when their second album, “Consent to treatment”, did not sell this well. But somewhere
far away from here he saw stars, stars that he could reach. It was a midnight
silent twilight that fell down… beyond the ocean beach. With band members
coming and going, Blue October kept playing, kept believing, kept making music.
They created “History for
sale”, which again was self-released, and the album sales exceeded all
expectations. This caught Universal’s attention again, and the band was
re-signed and “History for sale” re-released. The album featured “Calling you”,
which had become a part of the “American wedding” movie soundtrack. Blue October
also began getting radio play in Dallas, and the song turned into a large
mainstream success.
He could not seem to fly
away, feeling tall, small and sick of it all, and all he wanted to do was
crawl. Blue October emerged on a tour, where they recorded “Argue with a
tree”, where Justin was dealing with his failed relationship back then. He
slept the sadness that no one else sleeps, feel him cunningly adore…
His words, they pour like
children to the playground. And more of them can be found on “Foiled”,
Blue October's next album. With the first single of it called “Hate me” the
band made their network television premiere on “The Tonight Show with Jay
Leno”. “Hate me” topped the mainstream success of “Calling you”, and Blue October started reaching a new audience. “Foiled” went Platinum, and the band
extended their tour to more locations - even abroad. Furthermore, “Foiled” was updated
with the release “Foiled for the last time”.
If what you’re seeking is
an open book, that’s great. Well, he’s an open book, but he’s real shy. The famous
author of the “Twilight” series, Stephenie Meyer, is a fan of the band and
claims they have inspired her to write the “Twilight”-books. It was “Hate me”
playing when she wrote the scene in “New Moon” where Edward is leaving Bella.
Stephenie Meyer went on a four city tour presenting her new book, which Justin
accompanied musically. The tour was sold out completely.
In 2009 “Approaching
Normal”, the band’s fifth studio album, hit the market with “Dirt room” as the
first single. “Dirt room” reflects the emotional turmoil of having been sued by
Mike Rand, who claimed that songs like “Hate me” and “Into the ocean” were
written while he was managing Blue October. He greedily wanted a piece of the
big money pie.
The same year as the
release of “Approaching Normal” Blue October had to cancel their tour after
Justin had been admitted to a hospital because he had suffered a severe mental
anxiety attack. Then take a fast ravine for three years swimming straight
upstream in the wind. The wind will drag him down in the end. When Justin
felt better, the tour was re-scheduled.
It is not that he is scared
to learn why he is empty inside. Hold his hand or show some concern if he lives
or dies. His eyes are open wide. Help him look inside.
A very strong light entered Justin’s life when his daughter Blue was born. After his divorce from
his wife he had to face a custody battle over his daughter. Justin felt let
down by the system, and he started fighting for shared parenting in order to
support efforts to improve the current shared parenting laws. The album “Any
man in America” has its title because it simply could happen to any man in
America.
In an interview with the
Huffington Post he said: Honestly, the situation is worse than ever. Every day
I'm faced with the awful truth that not one single rule or guideline of the
agreed-to parenting plan has ever been met. Yet I show up on time every time
for my daughter, flying cross-country from Texas to Lincoln every other month,
and upon arrival it's a coin toss whether she'll show up. Now being the sole
provider, this puts me in a position where I am watching her savings account go
from "set in stone" to "someone help me". My choices are continuing to fight for my
daughter or run out of money. If I run out of money? No visitation. No visitation? Deadbeat Dad.
Deadbeat Dad? No child support. No child support? Jail time. Add that up with
the unfathomable reality of dealing with a serial accuser, and you've got
yourself my life. But through it all, I still hope for the best, as you can
hear on the song "The follow through", because that's what I do: I
follow through. For her.
The album was released with
Up/Down Records, Justin’s own independent label, instead of accepting a tempting
deal from Universal because Blue October wanted to play real music. And then again, he’s
just a normal boy that sank when he fell overboard. His ship would leave the
country but he’d rather swim ashore. Without a life-vest he’d be stuck again,
wish that he was much more masculine. Maybe then he could learn to swim like
fourteen miles away.
Currently Justin’s on the
road again playing acoustic sets. At the same time he continues wearing his
heart inside out and sharing his ups and downs, his lights and his demons.
Remember life’s like a jump
rope.
discography – albums:
1998 The answers
2000 Consent to treatment
2003 History for sale
2004 Argue with a tree
2006 Foiled
2007 Foiled for the last time
2009 Approaching normal
2011 Ugly side: An acoustic evening with Blue October
2011 Any man in America
